Day 15 - Outdoors

This pile of blanket sits right outside our front door all winter to accomodate our cat, Gypsy. Buried under it is the two-holed, carpet-covered cat tower I bought when we made the cats permanent outside residents two years ago. Gypsy has always occupied the bottom level. I assume Jewel used the top hole when it was really cold, but I mostly saw her lying on top of it.

Over the summer, we tried to relocate it to the back porch, but Gypsy was having none of it. She ignored it all summer, preferring to sleep in the flower pot on the front porch instead. Apparently, she is a front porch cat. It makes sense; that's where we come and go the most and she likes to be with us. When it started getting cold this year, I decided to bring the cat tower back to the front porch because I was worried about her and I couldn't get her to go in it on the back porch. I put it right back where it was before and put a clean towel in her hole. That wasn't enough. So I added one of those pocket hand warmers that stays warm for 10 hours and some Kitten Cookies (she is nuts for Kitten Cookies) to coax her in. That did the trick. Since then, she either lies on top or hides in her hole.

She usually greets me at the door in the mornings to beg for breakfast when I let the dog out to potty,  but one morning this week, I didn't see her at all. It had gotten cold enough to frost, so I suspected she just hadn't come out of her warm hidey-hole yet. That's nothing short of a miracle since Georgia's 70 lb. Lab self barrels off the porch like she's been shot out of a cannon and knocks into the cat tower every time, sending Gypsy running out to see what the heck just happened. Maybe Georgia was more subdued by the cold this particular morning, too, because when I bent down to peek inside, Gypsy poked her little head out to squint and purr at me.

 

I regularly have to squelch the guilt of making her live outside, even though I know she can't live in the house because of Ella's allergies, and even though I'm so over the whole litter box situation I'll probably never have another indoor cat. But still, she has sweet gypsy eyes and she greets us so enthusiastically and she even loves the dog now that Jewel E. is gone.  Winter is the hardest because we aren't outside as much, but we try to love on her as we come and go, and I do let her come in the house to make a round through all the rooms occasionally. I think she might still be looking for Jewel because she never stays inside very long - just tours the house and goes out again.

She's my sweet, little, outdoor, Gypsy-cat.

 

Day 14 - Something green

I guess I'm a fairly green-minded person. I believe it is our responsibility to take care of the Earth and, frankly, wastefulness really bothers me. Also, I'm cheap. Because of these things, I firmly believe in Reduce-Reuse-Recycle. I'm not entirely green and I'm not entirely cheap, because I will pay for convenience, but I try to offset that in other ways. It's why we reused the old windows when we added on to the house. It's why we give away or donate furniture, dishes, toys, clothes, etc. when we purge and the reason I love a sack full of hand-me-downs or yard sale finds. It's why we don't regularly use paper plates and why we recycle.


Homemade Laundry Detergent  a-Cookin'



One of the greenest things I do, aside from the large recycling center in my car port, is make my own laundry detergent. I have used liquid detergent for a long time because I really hate it when the powder doesn't dissolve in the washer. Also, I really hated paying $9-$15 for the large bottle of detergent, knowing it's mostly water. (I buy large quantities of most things. It's cheaper that way.) When I realized that Pinterest could teach me how to make laundry detergent at home, and that I could make about 20 gallons for the price of a large bottle of Tide, well that's when I joined Pinterest.

My detergent is actually green in color because I use the green bars of Dove soap. I like the smell and I know that everyone in my house can bathe with it and not break out in itchy rashes. It isn't a very strong scent in terms of laundry detergent, but that's okay becuase I usually bought unscented detergent anyway (re: itchy rashes). I store it in gallon jugs, which I usually have in my recycling bins.



Reusing.

It works just as well as the store bought kind (or better, maybe), it smells like I like it, and it's very cheap.
And, now you know one more reason why my husband calls me a hippie.

Day 13 - Lights

Commuting

This is what my drive home looks like when Daylight Savings Time ends. Most people probably hate their commutes, but I really don't. There are times when it's very inconvenient, mainly at 5 a.m. when the alarm goes off and if I stay late at work and feel rushed to get home, but the actual drive doesn't bother me.

In the mornings, it's the calm after the whirlwind of getting the kids out of the house and my time to drink coffee and laugh at inappropriate things on the Ace and TJ Show. In the evenings, it's when I listen to whatever strikes my fancy and catch up with Dave before the evening chaos starts.  I generally appreciate the commute.

Day 12 - Hat

We love a good hat.

Day 11 - Sweet

Red Velvet Birthday Cake

This was my first birthday cake of the year. Jan made it for me Friday. I also had a plate of birthday churros when my work friend took me to lunch yesterday, and Rebecca surprised me with a salted caramel frosted chocolate cupcake yesterday afternon. I think there will be one more cake this week, and then on to Christmas candy goodness. It's no wonder that I'm usualy ready to eat nothing but salad once January gets here.

Day 10 - Under

This is how I find Ella when I wake her up in the mornings. She has always loved to bury herself under the blankets. That little pink bear face belongs to Emily, the bear she built in Gatlinburg. Emily has an official title and a very important job: Bumble Bee Snapper. She protects Ella from the bumble bees that buzz her while she's sleeping.



Ella's Nest



My child has an irrational fear of bees. She also has a history of vivid, anxiety producing dreams about things getting in her bed with her. The latest is bumble bees. One night last week, she woke me up telling me, "The bumble bee buzzing sounds just distract-es me while I'm sweeping." I made her use the bathroom, because a full bladder makes the dreams even worse, and tucked her back into the bed with Emily. I told her that Emily likes to snap bumble bees and she would protect her until morning. The next morning when I asked if any more bees bothered her, she said, "No, Emily just ate them all." Now she gets tucked in beside Ella with her own special blanket every night.

You can't see her, but on the side next to the wall, the baby Maggie Beth is sleeping. She also has her own blankets to sleep in under the big blanket. Getting the three of them situated for bed every night is no quick task.

Then morning comes and we start the process of getting them out of bed. Unless it's the weekend, they don't like to get up. It's quite a process. This is the intermediate step: wallowing on the rug with Sniffy, the pink, shiny blanket (who also gets tucked into bed with her).

"I'm up!" she insists. I disagree.

Eventually, she does get dressed, usually while I'm loading up the car to leave.

And, that picture of her on the rug with Sniffy threw me into a time warp because it reminded me of this picture.

3 month-old Ella hiding from the morning light.

That's her, buried under Sniffy (pre-naming) when she was still sleeping in the co-sleeper beside my bed. She pulled the blankets over her head when I turned on the light to wake her up. She's much bigger now, but some things never change.

Day 9 - Out + About

On the way to Sunday School.

Day 8 - Someone you love.

These.



And Him.

More than words.

Day 7 - Stars



Japanese Red Maple leaves on ivy.




Littlefoot: Have you ever seen the Great Valley?
Littlefoot's Mother: No.
Littlefoot: Well, how do you know it's really there?
Littlefoot's Mother: Some things you see with your eyes, others you see with your heart.
Littlefoot: I don't understand, Mother.
Littlefoot's Mother: You will, my son. You will.

Japanese Red Maple leaves always remind me of the tree stars in The Land Before Time. These tree stars fell from the Japanese Red Maple at the entrance to my office building. That tree brings me a ridiculous amount of joy. It hangs over the walkway like an arch and I love to watch it change with the seasons. Right now it's red and the leaves are falling so it looks like God threw confetti all over the sidewalk.

P.S. It's been a really long time since I've watched The Land Before Time but I can still hear Littlefoot's mother's gentle voice in my head.

Day 6 - Where you live.



My Street, Early on a  Fall Morning

This is the street we live on. I love the view of it when I turn into our neighborhood. The sun rises at the end of it. It's the prettiest in the late Spring when the flowers are blooming and the world is green again.

I grew up in this neighborhood. We moved here when my dad and Jan got married in 1986. My sister and I used to spend weekends playing with my cousins in this neighborhood. Our sometimes-babysitter lived up the street. I spent several summers babysitting the little girls who lived behind us. My dad and his siblings grew up in this neighborhood, too. A lot of the people who lived here then still live here now.

It's in walking distance to the park, the elementary school, high school football field, and really, to everything in downtown Montevallo. Before we could drive, Rebecca and I used to walk or ride our bikes to the library or Subway or Serendipity (to spend my gift certificates on books!). We could walk to church now if we could get our show on the road early enough. Strolling around the neighborhood on a summer evening is like a mini-social hour. You can't do it if you are in a hurry because you have to stop and talk to everyone. Kids still play outside here. The neighbors keep up with each other and help when help is needed. I love our neighborhood.

Dave and I moved back here to start our family in 2006. Ella and Luke spend lots of their weekends playing with cousins because my cousins also moved back here. We live within a mile of both sets of my parents, two sets of cousins, and one of my aunts and uncles. I love that my kids are experiencing some of the things I did as a kid. I hope that we get to stay here so that the house they came home to from the hospital is the house they come home to for the holidays when they are grown.

Day 5 - Looking up

I struggled with this one. I couldn't decide if I should interpret it literally or figuratively. I couldn't get pictures of the literal things that came to mind and I didn't want to write about some of the figurative things. That left me flipping through the pictures on my phone for inspiration, and I found this.

Me and Luke

It's a horrible picture. It was dark and I was using the reverse camera on my iPhone in an attempt to capture Luke's expression when Mickey Mouse skated out at Disney on Ice. This is it. He was shockingly stoic. I really expected a big reaction, but this is all there was. He basically stayed in this position, with this expression on his face for the entire first half of the show. He was completely engrossed.

He loved it so much that he is still talking about it a month later. He still pretends to skate on our hardwood floors and he walks around saying, "Tick-tock, tick-tock," pretending to be the crocodile from Peter Pan (which was his favorite part). During his second blessing at supper the other night (he usually says three or four), he said, "Thank you Jesus, Mickey Mouse state (skate)..." and some other things we've done recently. He just started saying real prayers (meaning, not the kid ones we teach them in order to establish the habit) and he's obviously following my model of thanking God for the things we did each day. Putting him to bed at night has become an excellent prayer time for me because he insists that I pray continuously until he falls asleep. He likes to hear his day in review but he usually falls asleep when I get to the parts that are my prayers for him. That's okay, I just keep praying out loud until I'm finished.

Day 4 - Black + White

I chose the black and white words of my Bible for day four. 'Tis the season to remember that I celebrate more than the winter solstice and fictional characters in December; I also celebrate the birth of my Savior.

I've written about Christmas before, so if you've been reading here for a while, you already know how I love this season.

If you have never read the story from the Bible, or it confuses you because it's written across two books, I'll link you to it in sequential order. Watch for their humanity as you read it. They weren't just Bible characters, they were actual people living in an actual world.

Gabriel Visits Mary (Luke 1:26-38)

An Angel Visits Joseph (Matthew 1:18-25)
The Birth (Luke 2: 1-20)
Visit from the Wise Men (Matthew 2:1-12)

As for this year's update on the more secular side of the holiday, Ella has been continuously interrogating me about Santa - when he comes, if he fills the stockings, what he will bring, etc. I have continuously responded with "Hmmm" and "What do you think?" She has a lot of ideas. I'm treading carefully. I see this as our first real experience of reconciling what the world tells her with what our family believes. There will be so many more complicated topics than Santa, so we might as well start practicing now. 

Day 3 - Something you held.

It's been a while, but this is something I held.  

Sweet Georgia Brown


Eight years ago, she looked like this.

It's hard to remember her at this size.

I held her all the way home from the breeder's house. She was nervous and shaking, she even peed on my leg, and it seemed like the longest ride ever. That was before I knew what I know now - about how many Labs need rescuing from shelters and about long car rides. She was my kid before I had skin kids, and though our pack order changed when Ella was born, I still love her like she's my kid. When she's hurt, I worry. When she drops her ball on my foot over and over again in her version of "Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom!", I'm annoyed. When she cuddles up to me and snorts, I cuddle her back. When I forget to check her water bowl and she lets me know it's dry, I feel so guilty. When she looks at me with soulful eyes, my heart breaks just a little for what I know is in her future.

Though we've entertained the idea of adding another dog to the family in the past, we realized early that she is a one-dog dog and respected that. She has such a submissive personality that living with another dog would be too stressful for her, but that submissiveness makes her perfect for little kids. There won't be another dog in our house until she's gone.

She's a good dog; she's my dog, and I held her when she was a baby.

Day 2 - Peace

I've found that peace comes in different forms and means different things to different people. Peace of mind, a peaceful spirit, peaceful surroundings, world peace, psychedelic 1970's peace - you get the idea.

For today's photo, I opted for the kind of peace I like to enjoy on a Sunday evening.

Yep, a clean laundry room. It means that not only is the laundry clean, but it's also folded and put away. We don't acheive this every week, but when we do, one little compartment in my mind is peaceful. It's like my soul sighs with relief that one thing is finished. I don't have to worry about making sure anyone has enough white t-shirts or underwear of if the leotard is clean on Wednesday. And, we don't have to rob the clothes basket all week for things that aren't in our dressers. Because let's face it, if the clothes don't get put away by Sunday evening, it's probably not going to happen until the next weekend. And that just makes me feel even more overwhelmed when the next weekend gets here.

So, peace is when the laundry is all done - even if it only lasts until the next bath.

Day 1 - 8 o'clock

Our Saturday morning 8 o'clock usually looks like this. Today, we happened to be at Breakfast with Santa, but usually it's my kitchen table that's in wreckage by the 8 o'clock hour. The monkeys get up with the sun, no matter what time they went to bed the night before, so we've usually had plenty of mess by 8 a.m.

This year, they both went willingly to sit with Santa for a picture. Ella was motivated by telling him her Christmas list, which she has prioritized by order of importance.

Ella's Christmas List
1. Barbie House
2. Barbie Car
3. Soap
4. Gum
5. Tattoos

Luke was just excited about the pancakes.

Photo A Day

I've been struggling for inspiration to write (and also for time). Sure Dave and the kids offer new fodder every day, but I've been feeling like I need to keep those little nuggets of amazingness close to my heart instead of sharing them with the wide world. Otherwise, it's just life as usual - work, family, sleep, rinse and repeat - a seemingly boring routine for which I am very grateful, but not much to tell about.

Then, when I looked at my Facebook feed today, I saw that a friend had shared this list of photo a day prompts from Fat Mum Slim.

I'm no photographer, but I immediately started thinking of things I could write about these topics, so I decided, "Why not?" For the month of December, I'm going to try to write something every day, accompanied by a photo inspired by this list. Considering that I'll be on vacation for much of December, I can't promise that there will always be a lot of words with the photos, because the monkeys have built in radar that alerts them when I try to do anything that might even resemble a project that doesn't involve them. But I'm going to try.

I decided to start today, sort of as a practice round to get myself writing (something other than work things). So this is Day 0, and my work day started from the comfort of my living room.

Day 0 - Working from Home

This entire crazy year would have been so very much crazier if I had not had the flexibility to work from home and hospitals and doctor's offices and lawyer's offices and anywhere else I dragged my laptop along to. I'm usually very productive from home, working in my comfy chair with HGTV in the background, good coffee and minimal interruptions (obviously the monkeys aren't here). The increased productivity makes up for whatever crazy scheduling situation is keeping me out of the office. It's a lot of juggling, but I'm grateful for the flexibility because it means I get to go to school things and gymnastics and doctor's appointments and chemo without missing time at work.

Find out more about FAT MUM SLIM's photo a day challenges here: How to Play.

Thanksgiving Break

Good coffee. Good book.

"Now it is a strange thing, but things that are good to have and days that are good to spend are soon told about, and not much to listen to; while things that are uncomfortable, palpitating, and even gruesome, may make a good tale, and take a deal of telling anyway." - J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

It's Thanksgiving break at my house. That means the kids and I are home from school and work. There's lots of playing, a little cleaning, plenty of football (even at eight o'clock on a Tuesday morning because we have ESPN and it was Luke's turn to pick), and an excess of time to conquer our running list of things to do: paint, dance, read books, etc.

I have so many things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving but today I'll list the trivial: a comfortable book, good coffee, a warm house, little voices at play, and a child who just told me, "I'm an article." She meant "artist."

Happy Thanksgiving Week!

It's Been Three Months

I had a post written about my post-chemo mental state that I planned to publish today, but after the past perspective-gaining week with Dave in the hospital, I decided not to. It was all about the fear and the flashbacks and how I didn't have time to process everything that happened until after remission, but last week was kind of a mini version of the first hospital stay/cancer experience and I think it gave me some closure. Thus, I'm good and you won't be subjected to the whining.

Dave was supposed to have his three month PET scan today, but it will be rescheduled for later when we know that his blood counts are stable. He'll get his counts checked in the cancer center tomorrow, to make sure they are staying normal without Neupogen shots. And since he had the bone marrow biopsy and CT scan in the hospital, we have peace that he is still in remission.

Therefore, I decided to post some hospital pictures instead. Everyone who came in the room had to wear a mask. Dave had to wear one if he left the room, and found some entertainment value in watching people's reaction to him walking around the hospital in a mask. I'm certain they thought he had the swine flu. He also had to wear one when the kids came to visit because they are germ factories. I was generally exempt from the mask policy because "he's used to [my] germs," but I did wear one when the kids were there to make them more comfortable.

Dave had not seen the kids in a week.

Ella was glad to cuddle with him.

The mask distracts from the tired on my face.

Luke refused to put one on in the room.

But he decided it was okay for the ride home.

We were very glad to have him home last night. Even, maybe especially, Georgia (the dog) was ecstatic. She hasn't been sleeping much during the night and I think it's because she was waiting for him. His place in this world is with us, and our worlds aren't right without him.

Monday Morning Update

Dave (and I) spent the weekend in the hospital getting IV antibiotics, playing Words with Friends, and watching movies. We didn't learn much other than that his white count hasn't really increased significantly. Also, his CT scan was clean, so there was no hidden infection.

His oncologist just visited to confirm that his bone marrow is normal - there is no indication of lymphoma or leukemia or any of the weirder forms of anemia. He firmly believes his body had an autoimmune reaction to a virus - and he's says we'll never know what caused it because all of the tests have been normal. He called it "isolated neutropenia" and says that it's just a random incident and we shouldn't expect this to be the new normal.

He also said if it is related to the lymphoma or the chemotherapy, "it's not known to be." I'm taking that to mean it's possible but he doesn't want to say that for certain. That's only my opinion, of course, since it's hard for me to separate what chemo does to the immune system from what happened in this situation. He also said he usually sees one or two cases like this a year, and he's an oncologist, so...

At any rate, now that they've ruled out The Big Scaries, he can start Neupogen shots. Neupogen is similar to the booster he got after each chemo treatment, and it will stimulate the bone marrow to make white cells. He'll have to get two a day until he reaches the normal level, and he'll still be getting IV antibiotics. Once his absolute neutrophil count (ANC) is 500, he can be released with oral antibiotics. Today, that count is 36.

He should be just fine once he recovers his immune system, so this is all good news. For now, our specific prayer request is for a rapid increase in his neutrophil count so he can go home.

As always, thank you for the prayers thus far. We feel them and we are so grateful.

Bone Marrow

I asked Dave to write a blog post about his bone marrow biopsy. This is his experience from yesterday.

It is never a good experience to lay face down on a table or bed and have another man stand above you and remove your pants preparing to insert a foreign object into any portion of that part of your body. Sure there are some situations where this might be a bit more acceptable than others, but it is never what you would call a good experience. It is something that had never happened to me until this year and now I have endured it twice.

"The first thing I am going to do is numb the skin", he says. "After that you shouldn't feel anything but pressure." Words so comforting that I grab the sides of the table with both hands, arch my back and start instinctively taking deep breaths.

"This is going to burn just a little." I jump forward on contact.

"All I'm doing is using my finger right now," he says as he touches me again and I lunge a bit less than the time before. "Now, it's not going to be good for any of us if you come up off of this table."

"I'm not going anywhere," I say as I grasp the edges of the table until my fingers feel cramped.

Then the burn. Not a bad burn, just a burn. Then the fingers again. Apply pressure and massaging.

"You feel anything?" he says after about a minute. "No."

"Good because I just stuck a needle in you."

While I have not seen the full length of this needle, I know that it must be sizeable as it is designed to go through what must be several inches of flesh and land in my hip socket.

"All right, this will burn a little because I'm putting the medicine in." And a small burn comes, but I have relaxed after the initial numbing.

"Now for the big one. You should just feel pressure here." I feel something jab into my hip bone. No pain, just pressure and sensation. A small grind type of feeling. And then it's all done. The needle is out before I know it and I release the table, relax my arms and lay there sweating, despite the fact that the room temperature is 65 degrees.

That's a "bone marrow" as they call it. I think the sample will be biopsied now and bone marrow biopsy is probably the proper name for the procedure. I hope you never have to endure the experience and I certainly hope you don't have to do it twice in a year.

We are still waiting for the results.