2. A Moment

These moments are starting to happen more frequently.

Sibling Love

Don't get me wrong, there is still plenty of yelling and the occasional physical altercation, but I'm noticing that as they get older, they are starting to appreciate each other. He'll always be the annoying little brother and she'll always be the bossy big sister, but that doesn't negate all the times I hear them invite each other to play or the times I find them like this.

Luke would cuddle with her more, but he recognizes her need for personal space, so he only pushes the issue when he is overflowing with affection and can no longer contain his need to wrap his arms around her waist and snuggle his face into her back saying, "I wuv you, Elwa!" Usually she yells when this happens until I point out that he's hugging her, not terrorizing her, and then she stands still and tolerates the contact for a few seconds. She has always been a prickly one. It's when she initiates the hugs or willingly returns them that my heart feels the happiest, because those are rare moments, and because as much as she needs space, Luke needs physical contact.

It's one of the things that make them so different. He demands physical contact from everyone around him. He is openly, freely affectionate with everyone - from me to people he has just met. It's easy to make sure I hug or touch him enough because he initiates it so often. I sometimes have to point out the times when Ella doesn't want to be touched so that he recognizes her boundaries (and others' boundaries)  because he is so affectionate.

At the same time, I have to make a concious effort to hug and touch Ella often because she is so self-contained, and so am I. Though she doesn't demand the contact like he does, it's still important for her. She still needs it. The more independent she becomes, the less I touch her on a routine basis because I'm no longer dressing and bathing her or brushing her teeth every day. She even brushes her own hair now. She doesn't get as much routine contact from me, so I have to make sure I initiate it regularly. Because I am also not a freely affectionate person, I literally have to remind myself to hug her sometimes. Sometimes she's not receptive. Sometimes she tells me point-blank, "Stop touching my hair" or "Stop rubbing my back" and I do, immediately. Sometimes, she really needs it and crawls into my lap to stay a while, or cuddles up with her baby brother.