Which is more obvious?

Scenario 1
A mother sits in a booth at a restaurant. Her baby is crying, but she cuddles him in her arms to quiet him while her preschooler sits beside her, chatting with her and the infant. The waitress greets them and takes their drink order.

Scenario 2
A mother sits in a booth at a restaurant. Her baby is crying, but she cuddles him in her arms to quiet him while her preschooler sits beside her, chatting with her and the infant. The waitress greets them and takes their drink order while making a large production of unrolling a set of silverware from the napkin, shaking out the napkin, and reaching around mom's back to drape the napkin over her and baby.

In both scenarios, mom is nursing the baby and has been from the moment she sat down.

This happened to me on a recent family outing. I was completely taken by surprise to have my personal space invaded as a perfect stranger took it upon herself to drape a napkin over my child's head while he nursed. I, of course, immediately removed the napkin from his head because he isn't accustomed to dining with his head covered and it was in our way. I was already managing a preschooler's hands, a menu, and a baby - a nursing cover was just added frustration.

If you were the family sitting diagonal from our booth, you might have noticed I was nursing if you happened to be paying attention when I adjusted my clothing to latch him on. Otherwise, it just looked like I was holding my baby. Until there was a napkin over my shoulder.

Now, should you choose to nurse under a blanket or nursing cover, that's completely up to you. Good luck keeping that cover on when you reach the point of The Distractible Nursling - and I do hope you nurse that long and longer. But, if you are trying to be discreet and not draw attention to your nursing self, you should know that nothing screams NURSING MOTHER louder than a blanket over your baby's head.


However you choose to do it, I hope you will nurse in public because the more people do it, the more normal the practice will become in this society. I also hope you know that most states, including mine, protect your right to feed your baby anywhere you are allowed to be.


So, why did I get covered with a napkin? I don't know. I'm guessing it made the waitress uncomfortable when she realized what I was doing. Or maybe she is a very modest person and thought I would appreciate being covered, though I don't know how you reach that conclusion about someone who makes no bones about latching on a baby while placing a drink order. I like to think it isn't the restaurant's policy to cover nursing mothers with napkins. That thought kept me from raising the ruckus that I felt brewing inside me as I stewed over having my personal space invaded and my baby's head covered. It was a nasty brew. One of indignation and violation. One that left me feeling quite pissy until the food came, and still leaves a bad taste in my mouth regardless of the good food. I probably should have spoken to the manager, but I didn't. For that reason, we will go back to that restaurant and give it another try.