My Pregnancy Lists

Now that I'm facing weekly appointments and we are getting the house stocked with tiny diapers again, I've come to the point in this pregnancy where I'm both anxious to meet this baby and I feel like I need to freeze time so I can preserve the last few days with Ella as an only child. It occurred to me last night, as I cuddled her to sleep, that life as she knows it is about to change forever. That makes me a little sad for her, but I also know how excited she is about seeing Baby Boy.

I don't worry about loving one or the other of them more, because there's not a doubt in my mind that I will love them both as the individuals they are, but I do worry about having enough time and energy to meet their individual needs. I fully expect raising a boy to be a different experience because boys are just made differently. I'm excited about that new adventure, but I also wonder how I'll juggle life with two young children.

As I've struggled with feeling ready for this pregnancy to be over and trying to enjoy the last few weeks through the stress of Gestational Diabetes, I made some lists. It's what I do. :)

Things I Will Not Miss
1. Needing to pee every time I stand up. I wonder how much toilet paper I use while I'm pregnant?
2. Hearing "Wow, you must be due any day" and "You'll never make it to August" and variations of the same. Yes, I know I'm gargantuan.
3. Heat rash.
4. The constant worry, guilt, and analysis of everything I eat or think about eating.
5. Splenda.

Things I will Miss
1. Feeling the baby move and random parts sticking out.
2. Having elevators held for me as I trudge across hot parking decks.
3. Elastic waist pants.
4. Not having to maintain the litter box.
5. Watching Ella cuddle and talk to my belly and feed the baby through my belly button.

Things I'm Looking Forward To
1. Moving from sitting to standing without feeling like my body is tearing in half at the hips.
2. Rolling over in bed wihtout lying there wondering if it's worth the effort first.
3. Wearing my fire engine red, patent leather high heels.
4. Bending over without squishing the air out of my lungs.
5. Cuddling Ella without this huge bump in my middle.
6. Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
7. The tiny newborn phase.
8. Ella meeting Baby Boy.
9. Nursing and baby wearing again.
10. Watching Dave with a son, and my dad with a grandson.