A few times over the weekend I found myself thinking, "When did my sweet baby boy turn into this holy terror?"
Oh my mercy. Luke celebrated his 19th birthmonthday with a record breaking tantrum followed by an Incident with a block and his sister's head.
After church and lunch yesterday, we took the kids to Tractor Supply in hopes of seeing the baby chicks and ducklings. It really wasn't good timing for Luke as he was already starting to fall asleep in the car, but we did it because we knew they would love the fluffy babies. We were sadly disappointed to find them sold out, so we didn't get to see the babies and Luke was in such a state that things were scaring him. Those little faces that you stick on trees? Terrifying. The stuffed chickens? Scream inducing. We made our way out of there quickly, but we stopped at the front of the store where they have little bins of things you need. There was a ball. He grabbed it and talked about it for a few minutes while Dave assessed the rubber mallets. (I think he was thinking of buying me one, but he was afraid I would actually use it to knock them over the head when they are refusing to go to sleep at night. I would never, but it's probably best not to have that or tranquilizer darts in the house.) Anyway, when it was time to go, we went through the whole "tell it bye bye, give it love" transition, but Luke Roper had no intention of leaving that ball at the store. When I took it from his hands, he lost it. He screamed like I was peeling him all the way home. At home, I tried to put him down for nap and he kept fussing at me in his mad voice and saying, "Ball!" I decided to let him have a few minutes to wind down and try again for the nap.
During that time, he and Dave were playing blocks in his bedroom and Ella went in there to play. Shortly, I heard screaming and genuine crying and Daddy's scolding voice. I was trying to find somewhere to lock myself, but they found me. I overheard enough to know that Luke hit Ella in the head with a block. She was crying real tears and Dave was attending her. I scooped Luke up and tried that nap again. He needed it badly, but instead of falling straight to sleep like he normally does, we kept having this conversation.
Luke: Eh?
Me: Ella is with Daddy. He's taking care of her.
Luke: (while patting his head) Eh. Hit head. Block.
Me: I know you hit her head with a block. We don't use blocks for hitting people.
Luke: Daddy?
Me: Daddy is taking care of Ella.
Luke: (patting his head) Hit head. Block. Daddy.
Me: I know Daddy told you not to use blocks for hitting. We use our soft touch with each other.
And so it went until I took him out to the living room to see them both and know that everything was okay. He was very worried about Ella and very worried about the scolding he got from Dave. After that, he finally went to sleep.
So, I learned something. He's so much like me. He's as much like me as Ella is like Dave.
Ella and Dave have tempers like the Fire Swamp in The Princess Bride - quick to flare up and quick to die out. Luke and I, well, we're more like that pot you keep watching, waiting for it to boil and it's taking forever until suddenly it's boiling over and then you keep turning it down but it keeps boiling up again and making a mess all over the stove. Yeah, that's us. Slow to anger and slow to get over it. And, it seems like it's not just the messy temper he got from me. The way he worried about Dave and Ella after the block hitting deal makes me think he might also have inherited my tendency to be really hard on myself. I am and have always been my harshest critic. I kind of hate it for him because I know that forgiving myself for something is one of the hardest things for me to do - much harder than forgiving others. But I also know that there is not much anyone else can say to me that I haven't already said to myself. That makes it so much easier to let other people's crap roll off my back. And really, when you meet someone's angry tirade about something you've done or said with, "You're right, I am a jackhole. Please be angry with me; I deserve it" - well, there just isn't much left to say.
I know this about me because I'm a study in my own personal psychology. I know it about Luke because now he has enough words to tell me what he's thinking about, and what he was thinking about all afternoon was the ball I made him leave at the Tractor Supply Co. and the block to the head incident.
While he made me nuts all Sunday afternoon with his angry fits, I can't complain too much. For the most part his second year has been all climbing naughtiness. I guess he was about due for expressing his discontent with my parenting.
P.S. Because it deserves to be noted, EGR did not even retaliate when Luke smacked her over the head with a block. Amazing.
No comments:
Post a Comment