Eight months removed from Luke’s delivery (!) and with my sister’s pregnancy, I’ve been thinking a lot about birth. I’ve been reading birth stories and research and ACOG statements. It’s a huge interest of mine, and I think I’m on some sort of therapeutic path to heal my hurting soul about the birth that I missed. I’ve been grieving what I missed.
Yes, I am healthy and I have healthy children and I am forever grateful for that. But, yes, I am one of those women to whom the process matters. It matters a lot.
Last night, I was talking to Dave about my frustration with the medical community’s attitude toward birth in this state and the serious lack of options a birthing woman has here. We got on the subject of birth plans, and he asked me about mine. I didn’t even know where it was anymore since it never mattered anyway. He told me I should post it on the blog. I’m still not sure if he was making fun of me, but it got me thinking that it might be good for me to write it out again.
I don’t really like the term “plan” so much because that just seems to beg for something to go awry, so I’m calling mine a wish list. Truly, that’s what it is now, because I’ll likely never have another “birth”.
So, this is my wish list for the fictitious birth I’ll never have.
Labor
I would like to labor in quiet with the lights low and with the freedom to move as I please. Please enter the room quietly and please address me in a quiet voice before touching me.
I would like minimal interruption, so please address as many questions as possible to my support person.
Birth
I would like to push my baby out of my body in the position of my choosing, at my own pace.
I would like to catch the baby myself, so please do not touch me or the baby without asking.
I would like to deliver the placenta without assistance.
After Birth
I would like to hold my baby skin-to-skin and nurse immediately, so please postpone the newborn procedures until I am ready.
I would like to wait until the umbilical cord has stopped pulsing before cutting it.
That’s it. It seems so simple when I write it out.
I love this post. Although my husband and I don't plan to have children, I am deeply interested in birthing procedures and women's rights during childbirth. And, to be fair, I'm probably equally intersted in the medical community's commercialization of pregnancy and birth. Anyway, I was happy to read your birth wish list--one that highlights the important details and makes clear that birth is not an emergency situation requiring surgery, quick deliveries, and IVs (at least it isn't usually this way).
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you've already seen it, but just in case you haven't, you should check out The Business of Being Born. Not the best documentary in the world but one that opened my eyes to what happens in so many hospital births.
Thanks for sharing your wish list!