Aussie Trip Tips

These are some tips that my coworker who is already in Australia sent to me. I am sharing them here because they are amusing, and maybe interesting to some.

In response to my anxiety over how the whole visa process works:

"1. Fill out immigration form on plane.
2. Get off the plane.
3. Walk to immigration.
4. Show passport and smile.
5. Walk to baggage claim.
6. Get bags.
7. Walk to customs.
8. Show form to customs and smile.
9. Explain that you are smuggling in contraband and illegal substances… again smile.
10. Go through security.
11. Walk to exit.
12. Get in Taxi
13. Go to hotel
14. Check in, take shower, and begin feeling like a human again."

He is a smarty pants. :)

The formula for overcoming jet lag when I arrive:

"So, when you get on your way here you need to stay awake until about hour 3 of the flight to Sydney. You are not going to like it, you are going to be tired, but trust me stay awake. At hour 3 take some sleeping pills (if you have them) and sleep as long as you can. When you wake up there still will be about 2 hours of the flight left. Drink coffee with breakfast. When you land in Sydney it will be fairly early in the morning. Get to the hotel, unpack, shower but do not go to sleep. Get out of the hotel, take a walk to the harbor, do something to keep you busy until lunch. Have something to eat and go back to the hotel. Take a nap. Now this is very important: do not take a nap longer than about 2 hours otherwise you will have a hard time sleeping at night. Have an early dinner and stay awake until at least 8:30. If you can pull that off, then you should be fairly awake and ok on Monday."

Other general tips:

"-ATMs dispense Australian dollars, you won’t need to bring USD and change it to AUD
-Ride in the front of Taxis
-Australians don’t know how to form a line, they just form a mob.
-You don’t have to tip. If you do, only tip a small amount. If you pay with cash leave the “silver” change. On a CC, round up to the nearest $5 increment.
-Sydney is pretty formal, all the time.
-On the day you arrive, try to stay awake until 8:30 or 9 that night.
-I hope you like Asian/Thai/Sea food.
-Its summer here. For C to F temp conversion, double it and add 32. That should be about right.
-Lunch time is typically 1 PM. I recommend eating something for breakfast.
-Paper money is in $5 dollar increments. There are $1 and $2 coins, they are gold in color. Everything else is cents, although no pennies, everything rounds to the nearest 5 cents.
-They drive on the wrong side of the road, and the walk on the wrong side of the sidewalk.
-Power outlets must be turned on to work. Push the switch down.

Australian Language guide:
Fortnight = 2 weeks
Loo = Restroom
Lift = Elevator
Ta = Thank you
No worries = You’re welcome
Oh that’s alright = You’re welcome
Queue = Line
Cheers = Regards
Uni = Short for University or College
How you going? = How are you doing?
“and Bob’s your uncle” = “And that is that”.
“talked the leg off a horse” = done talking about that now
“give us a hoy” = call me
Mate = Buddy
Happy with that = I understand (can be a question, “Do you understand?”)
Dodgy = Shady, suspect, something isn’t quite right
The bill = (at a restaurant) the check
Angry Ben = $20 bill (they are red and have Ben Franklin on them)
Brekkie = Breakfast
Football = probably rugby, but can be Australian rules football or American football (see below)
Grid Iron = American football
Soccer = what everyone other than the US and Australia call football
The American Embassy = McDonald’s

Australian Coffee guide:
Short Black = Shot of Espresso
Tall Black = Shot of Espresso with water
Flat White = Shot of Espresso with milk
Latte = Shot of Espresso with steamed milk
Filtered Coffee = American black coffee"

So there you go, first hand travel tips in case you ever go to Australia. It should be fun. I'm sure they will love my accent as much as I will love theirs. :)