Here he introduces the concept of anticipatory nausea - something that is very common but that I read nothing about when researching chemo treatment. Also, some of the changes that cancer brought to his life.
July 2, 2012
Here we are for session five. It has been three months since I started taking chemotherapy, so today is kind of like an anniversary. I have had a great four weeks since my last treatment. We had father’s day, Ella’s birthday, a couple of other kid birthday parties and an early 4th of July batch of ribs on Saturday. I know I will probably be down on the 4th so I cooked early to make sure I got to enjoy some bar-b-que before treatment. There has been lots of golf since the last treatment. In fact, I played the day after I was last here. It was pretty rough, but I enjoyed it and it fit in with my philosophy that I will do whatever I am able during the process.
I did not come to the hospital with the dread that accompanied me on treatment 4, but I do have some “anticipatory nausea”. That is the term used by the nurses for the sickness in my stomach. It started last night and has continued on to today. I had a big breakfast of biscuits and gravy along with three bottles of water in hopes that my stomach will be sufficiently coated before they drip the poison in me and that I will have a head start on peeing the stuff out.
The doctor just came by for my consult. He tells me that my blood cell counts look good and we are ready to begin the treatment. I asked about the process after 6 chemo treatments and he said after I finish I will have a scan in several weeks. The expectation is that this scan will be normal. Then I will be scanned every six months or so for a period of 2 years. Again, the expectation is that all of these scans will be normal.
The doctor told me that he could probably scan me now and everything in my body would be normal, but indicated that 4 rounds of chemo is not known to be curative. Six rounds is apparently the magic number. I asked him if there was any possibility that I would have to go more than six rounds and he told me, “No, we don’t fudge on that number.” That means that by the end of the month I will done with chemo. Praise God.
The hair on my head and face already seems to be growing more quickly. I am shaving my head at least twice a week now and my facial hair is prickly even though I shaved just yesterday morning for church. The hair growth has surprised me enough to make me wonder if the last treatment was a bit watered down and not as potent as the first three. I am sure that is not the case, but I can definitely see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am excited to move on to the next phase of life. With the exception of the few days after chemo, I feel much better now than I have in several years. My stomach doesn’t feel full and bloated, I have more energy and can stay awake later. I spend more time with Amanda and the children and the relationships I have with them are richer and more satisfying than before. I don’t spend so much time at work, but the time I do work is more focused and productive. I no longer sit around for extended periods thinking about work being slow or business being down. I perform the work I have to do and leave. I am learning how to work to live rather than work to try to become rich. I have learned that there is much richness to be enjoyed that costs little or no money.
Like golf. At Montevallo. What started last Memorial Day weekend as something to alleviate my boredom while Amanda and the children slept has turned into a full-fledged passion. I played golf five days during the past calendar week. I am not good but I have improved. I have been trying to break a score of 100 for the past year, to no avail. When I started playing I didn’t keep a stroke score, but rather counted the number of balls I lost during a round – and it was consistently a double digit number. Yesterday I used the same ball from the 8th to the 18th hole before knocking it into the woods. [He has since broken 100 and played an entire 18 holes with a single ball. He brought it home and told me to keep it. It's sitting on my desk as I type. He was very proud.] Golf has truly become a passion. And while I could aspire to play golf at some of the bigger and nicer courses and country clubs, I am completely satisfied at Montevallo.
There is an old couple who drives around the golf course on their cart every day. Sometimes they have the dogs with them. Sometimes the lady gets out and walks while the man drives around. They drive around the course, staying out of the way of the “regular patrons” and play the open holes. I have seen them all times of day from early in the morning to just before dusk. They sure seem to be happy. And while I do not wish that I was retirement age, I certainly believe I could be content and happy driving around the Montevallo 18 after I retire instead of playing at some high class country club.
So much for that. They have started the meds and I am ready for the ride. Good riddance cancer. [Amen.]
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