I've combined the next two short entries in this post.
April 6, 2012 (3:30 a.m.)
Depression, insomnia, reading lymphoma blogs, wondering will my hair fall out, wishing my stomach would feel normal, thinking I need to work tomorrow, hoping I have the energy to play golf and wishing right now I could clear my mind enough to pray . . . that is pretty much the order of the last hour and a half. I slept from about 9 p.m. until 2 a.m. and have been awake since. I tried to go to bed but gave up at 2:30. I have been reading a few blogs about other people’s cancer stories for the past few minutes, something that gives me mixed emotions. On one hand I am curious about what experiences I have facing me, but on the other, I do not want to know the horrors that could lie around the corner. Generally, I prefer walking blind into a situation I know will be difficult to researching and exploring the situation and dreading and worrying about the possible effects. Still, it is a bit comforting to know that there are other people out there my age and younger who have or have had the same disease I do that are well now. So, to the blogs I go. Maybe sleep will come soon.
April 7, 2012
So, yesterday I was on a high all day long. Woke up at 2 a.m. and stayed awake all day long. Went to the golf course at 7:30 and played a full 18. Had lunch at home about 1:00 and then worked in the yard until 3:30. Dyed Easter eggs with the kids and hung out with the in-laws until about 8:00. I crashed before 9 and slept hard most of the night.
Today we had soccer at 9:15 and then went to my grandmother’s house for lunch. I got tired mid afternoon and my throat has started hurting a little bit. I am still going pretty strong at 6:15 tonight and think I will be able to stay awake another couple of hours. I haven’t really felt like I have cancer the last two days. I have some aches and pains from chasing and picking up the little ones. My innards burn a little bit from time to time and I am trying to drink a lot of water to make sure all the chemicals get as flushed out as possible. Nausea and fatigue have not been part of the operation the last two days. I am cautiously optimistic. Everything I read and hear says that you will feel good a couple of days and then bottom out after that. I hope I don’t have a bottom out coming at the start of next week. I am just going to keep on doing whatever I can for as long as I can. That includes teaching the youth Sunday School in the morning. He is risen!
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