Nine Things I Learned in 2012

I learned some things last year - some new things and some old lessons reiterated. It's another awkward list of nine things. Maybe I'll just make lists of nine a regular thing.

Nine Things I Learned in 2012

1. God is my Counselor, my Comforter, my Prince of Peace. True, the Bible says it and I already knew it, but I experienced it anew. If cancer taught me nothing else, it taught me to turn to God first in times of trouble. No earthly advisor got it right; no one had the words I needed, but I found them in prayer and in God's Word.

2. My family is precious to me. This also wasn't new news, but I do feel like I learned to be more present with them, to block out distractions and really focus on enjoying them.

3. I need help. Much to the chagrin of my fiercely independent spirit, I just cannot do all the things that need doing all by myself all the time. Learning to accept help more willingly, to ask for it even, was an uncomfortable lesson but one that was also liberating.

4. The world doesn't stop for cancer - nor should it. Though at times it felt like time was frozen, life went on. I worked, Dave worked, the kids went to school, soccer, and gymnastics. People got married, had babies and birthdays, and even funerals. Sometimes I felt too numb to live it, but staying busy living life was better than wallowing.

5. Cancer doesn't always mean death. Sometimes it does and it's heartbreaking, but sometimes it's just part of the journey. Standing in the face of the surgeon last March, I was completely distraught while trying to rectify my previous experiences of cancer=death with the news that my 33 year old husband had cancer. I will be forever grateful for the firsthand experience that cancer does not always end in death.

6. Cancer doesn't end with remission. Technically, yes, it does, but the after effects of treatment continue on indefinitely. It's a price willingly paid for remission, but it's very frustrating and sometimes disconcerting - especially when the after effects are similar to the original symptoms.

7. Forgiving people isn't easy, but it is right. It's right for the person you need to forgive because they are human just like you - acting and reacting in the world from their own unique experience and not necessarily with cruel intentions. It's right for you, the person doing the forgiving, because it frees your heart from bitterness. Sometimes it takes practice. I think that was the biggest lesson I learned about forgiveness, that it requires practice.

8. Increased use of social media requires increased personal responsiblity. Not just from the perspective of what you share (and I've struggled with that aspect this year), but also from the perspective of what you allow to steal your joy. I love having the world at my fingertips, but I am guilty of letting Facebook drama or unending commentary of politics and tragic events put me in a funk. It's just not worth it, and I'm the only one who can control my reaction.

9. Life really is too short to sweat the small stuff. Really.