I Could be the Moderator

Or A Comparison of Preschool Conversation with Presidential Debates


On the drive to Grandmother's house this morning, I had an epiphany. I might be qualified to moderate the presidential debates. After all, moderating is one if my motherly duties. One of my major parenting projects of late has been teaching them the basics of polite conversation: 1. Acknowledge the speaker, 2. Respond respectfully, and 3. Don't interrupt. I get a lot of practice at moderating.

This morning's topic: Butterflies - Where do they fly and what color are they?

Let's review the transcript.

Luke: (upon backing out of the driveway) Mommy! I saw a butterfly!
Moderator: You did?
Luke: Butterfly way up high!
Ella: Butterflies don't fly way up high -
Luke: (interrupting) No! Mommy! Way up high!
Commence sixty seconds of loud, nonsensical talking over each other.
Moderator: STOP! We are going to take turns talking so that we can hear each other. Ella, please finish what you were saying.
Ella: Butterflies don't fly way up high. They fly low to the ground. (Continue a rather long-winded dissertation on butterfly flight patterns until she took a breath.)
Moderator: Luke, it's your turn.
Luke: (Driving home his point) I saw a butterfly way up high!
Moderator: (Attempting to move the conversation along) Cool. What color was the butterfly?
Luke: (Evading the question) Ummm - a baby butterfly..  umm..
Ella: (Interrupting) I saw a butterfly -
Luke: (Interrupting the interruption) No! My turn!
Moderator: Ella, it's Lukes turn to talk. You will have a chance in a minute. Luke, please continue. You saw a baby butterfly?
Luke: Baby butterfly (followed by additional nonsensical jabber until he took a breath).
Moderator: Ella, it's your turn.
Ella: (With an air of complete superiority) I saw a butterfly that was brown, black and yellow.

At that point, we arrived in Grandmother's driveway, thus ending round 587 of this year's Preschool Debates.

And it occurred to me that that conversation wasn't so different from the recent sparring I've watched on prime time television between two polished, prominent politicians. Maybe I'm due for a career change...

Original photo from www.huffingtonpost.com.